i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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