Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize