Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize