is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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