I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you never un-have a 4some
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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