why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize