does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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