why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize