yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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