We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize