You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
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I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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