seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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