I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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