Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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