Pappa wants mamma naked
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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