@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize