There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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