I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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