New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Drunk is a universal language darling
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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