woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize