At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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