This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I've blown a few things in my day
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Randomize