2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize