i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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