I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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