You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am available for nakedness
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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