I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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