If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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