i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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