Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize