lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
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why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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