You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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