I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize