Pappa wants mamma naked
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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