So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We had to coat check the pizza.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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