You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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