Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize