So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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