DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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