I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize