lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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