I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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