Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Boobs are out for the taking
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize