I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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