Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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