Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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