just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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