I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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