the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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