I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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